Having The Berries

My story regarding Tonglen. I ripped the definition directly from Wikipedia which I will include.

Now, many see Fenrir as a god or demon of destruction. Who am I to tell someone else they cannot have their own opinions? my reactions to them is a direct reflection of myself. Therefore, I respect others opinions.

In saying as much, remember those words before an arguement is given. I will verbally bite heads if respect is not given rather or not one disagrees.

Many folks occasionally go through an “Ordeal”. I have found this to be common among Rökkatru (I like the term, deal.) I used to think I didn’t have the berries to embark upon the “Ordeal Path” until I found myself smack dab in the middle of one.

2013. I began getting ridiculously sick. Nauseous with tons of headaches. Physically, by all rights and in accordance with my doctor, I was perfectly fine.

My digestive constitution took a plummet. My living situation at the time, while ideal was in an almost constant state of negative energy, I would meditate with Fenrir while trying not to whine (Remember, no whining for Iron Woods.), until he growled out at me to “eat it”. I was speechless, I gave him the “huh?” face. Then he told me “I devour, but it is not always for the evil that humans perceive, I devour and recycle, learn to do the same.” Fenrir was never one for long speeches or flowery tripe.

And so it was. I was thrown onto the Ordeal Path without even realizing it. I DID have the Berries after all. 


2016, Full Circle. Three Years Later

I’m still growing spiritually, but I can now filter negativity successfully. I can take others pain and morph it into something nourishing, I can throw this back into environment as negative ions. It has been a long journey, but Fenrir is there to guide me. 

HAIL FENRIR! and thank you for teaching me how to the have the berries. 


Another Fenrir Dream

Me: “Why me?”
Fenrir: “Why not?”
Me: *I stare at him*
Fenrir: *Stares back chuffing at me. He begins his physical shifting.”Don’t pretend you don’t want to bite peoples heads off. If you were unbound, you would destroy..”
Me: *Nods in agreeance* “Do you pick those just with rage?”
Fenrir: *Snorts at me mockingly* “None of your business. I picked you. Now you honor me. It’s that simple. It doesn’t matter who’s better. It matters who’s willing.”
Me: “To Kill?”
Fenrir: “To live”
Me: “Because living is hard?”
Fenrir: “Partially. Stop trying to fish.”
Me: *nuzzles him. I can feel and smell the blood.”Always so much waiting. I feel like I was born to wait.”
Fenrir: “Maybe you were.” *He pins me down biting me playfully. It hurts but nothing is ever soft with Fenrir.*

I wake up. Parts of my body/skin hurts where he bit. I smile.

My Silent Companion

My Silent Companion
My heart
Muscled girth beneath me as you lazily pad upon the forest floor.
Spruce needles brush my face slightly from a storm fallen branch.
I watch as snow lightly touches upon your black fur. Melting into your body’s abyss.
“So beautiful” I say as I look out at the great expanse of woodland.
“It will be gone one day. All of this.” He growls out. I feel the rumble through his body. “I know. So I enjoy it now.” I answer. He nods silently. We walk. No words. We listen together as the elements speak to one another.
Hail Fenrir. My Beloved.
Guide and Protector.

He “takes” me “places” when He feels I am over-stressed. Much is going on. Now I am being urged to learn to master my longsword as well as the staff. Odin is on me about the runes and lovely Sigyn has snatched me up in a dual patronage with Hyndla. I am most busy. And most thankful. But in those little moments rather in deep sleep or the tween times of near sleep or just barely waking. Fenrir snatches me up and we ride. He understands
my need to “breathe” not much talking occurs. Just heartbeats. And silence.

Fenrir & Preparing for Death

This thought has occurred to me on more than one occasion. Do I get cremated? Do I give into my Kemetic side and become mummified? Awhile back I had a dream. Fenrir was instructing me to walk into forest skyclad. I had assumed this was a form of initiation. But recently he has been showing me more. I will walk into the forest and be devoured by the packs in the dead of winter. I am okay with this.

“It is the last ounce of life you will feel”

He tells me. I never looked at pain in this manner. But thinking about the brink of death one would feel weak and listless and yes perhaps in pain. But it is this pain of being ripped apart that made me wonder why he would suggest this.

“You should not leave laying down. Give into your fight .”

So, I should go out fighting a pack of wolves. Sounds legit.

“But what if I do not wish to fight my death?” “None of mine go without a fight..”

Thats when I understood it wasn’t a request. It was a demand from my beloved and a final offering of pain. But even more so. My beloved taught me yet another lesson that I knew, sort of. He cemented it. Death frees your chains. But it must come with living first , fighting tooth and claw for what you believe in and your own principles. Those chains will stay on until you break them either in life or death. I remember my mother. She had Super-nuclear Palsy. If anyone has seen the movie “Serpent and the Rainbow. It has the effects of the zombie powder. They seem okay on the outside. But they breakdown inside. But my mother fought until the very end. It is okay that others think morbid. I could give a rats ass. So here I go asking Him another question.

“Will I pass on?”



He stares at me for a moment. Now he begins shifting forms between four-legged and two-legged. He approaches me in two-legged form the easy friction heard coming from his leather jacket. Lighting a cigarette he looks at me again with a cocky ass grin.

“You have work to do”

He hands me the cig and I take a few drags and hand it back.

“You and your fiancé mentioned Dads name when you were about 18, 19 years old. We have been with you since then. But if you want to think the lights flickered by themselves after mentioning his name was just some random fucking occurrence thats fine.”



He takes another drag through his toothy ass smirk laughing a little handing me the cig again. I take it slowly slack jawed.


He laughs harder.

“Dude, fuck you”

He flicks the cigarette out of my hand.

“If you insist.”

The rest was well…I would rather not write that. But just before my dream faded there was Hela at the edge of my dream. I looked at her. Hand in hand with Fenrir. She nodded smiling. I nodded back. We are always at the edge of death. Death is what the humans call it.

Cleansing of Negative Energies on Old Objects

Amarina's Journey

As time has been progressing, I’ve learned more about my higher self. Not only was I what would be called a Valkyrie, but I was also a seidhkona. Growing up all the abilities and gifts I had seemed odd, but they were comfortable and I felt at home with them. So now, I find it’s time to start talking to myself, for lack of a better phrase, and come back to what I am and how I can use what I know in more practical means and methods. Seeing that I’ve been a bit of a pack rat in this life, it was suggested that I start to purge the old items that I no longer need and cleanse not only the things I keep, but also those I dispose of. The energies can stick like glue and when not properly dispersed or cleansed, they can continue to be bothersome…

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Lessor Hallowing Ritual of the Hammer (LHRH)


Volmarr's Blog of Modernist Heathenism, Norse-Paganism, and Norse-Wicca

This is a spiritual exercise to be done every day or even if wanted more then once a day. The purpose of this ritual is many-fold. It helps to clear the energies of an area and drive away away negative energies which may be present. It also sets up a powerful field of protection on the doer that lasts for awhile. It banishes any negative energies that may be at work on the doer. As well it invokes spiritual energy from the World-Tree Yggdrasil, as well as spiritual energy from the runes if that optional runic part is done, into the one doing the ritual. All told this is a very useful ritual to do on a everyday basis. No other opening or closing ritual is needed for this.

Optionally you can use a wand for this ritual or if not can just use your fingers, using the first two…

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A Fenrir Day

So more things I found out about my love (Fenrir) He LOVES the whole black cherry scent. I give him a large candle with black glitter. He appreciates offerings of ice filtered water and meat when I can get it to him. He isn’t to fond of chocolate. Nor is Sis (Hela) for that matter. He also enjoys Fig Newtons, fruit dried and regular, trail mix (no joke lol), all incenses like: cedar wood, pine, spruce, he even likes roses and carnations. Mostly he enjoys being talked to and cuddled.

Me: You really are just a big puppy aren’t you?
Fenrir: *growl stares*
Me: *giggles* Love you
Fenrir: “Bitch”
Me: *Your point?”
Fenrir: *nips my arm and nuzzles*
Me: *bats at him and continues reading*
Fenrir: *huffs into my neck peering over my shoulder*
Me: *nuzzles back still reading*

He is always there…more at work than at home. Protecting and guarding. Sometimes he will come home with me. Other times I get a kiss and He runs off into the ethers
But that is just his way.

Candle Magic &Activation Times

 photo moondivider.jpg

Normal Candle Colors

~Red: Energy, strength, passion, courage, lust, action, fire element, career goals, Blood of the Moon, vibrancy, burning away of a spreading disease, and protection.
*1 hour activation time.
~Ruby-red: Love/anger of a passionate nature.
*1-1 1/2 hours of activation time.
~Rose/Cherry Red: Deep affection of a platonic nature or a lustful and joyful romance.
*1 hour activation.
~blue: Good fortune, opening blocked commumnications, true love, Jupiter’s true color, wisdom, peace, healing, good to soothe inflammed issues, protection, spiritual inspiration, calm, reassurance, water element, and creativity.
*3 hours activation time.
~Royal blue: Power and protection.
*3 and a half hours activation time.
~Electric Blue: Jupiter energy, financial expansion.
*2 and a half hours activation time.
~Dark Blue: Creates confusion-use with white to protect yourself…use pink to cure.
*4 hours activation time.
~Indigo Blue: Reveals deep secrets, protection on all astral and mundane defenses.
*5 hours activation time.
~Pale Blue/baby Blue: Protection of the home, New Moon, Cresent Moon.
*1 and a half hour activation time.
~Blue-black: Wounded pride, broken bones, angelic protection.
*1 to 1 and a half hour activation time.
~Black: Absorbtion and destruction of negativity, opens up deeper levels of the unconscious, reversing, uncrossing, binds negative forces, protection, shapeshifting and one of the colors used in balancing the base chakra.
*Unknown activation.
~Brown: Influence, friendships, special favors, animal magick, transforms and grounds negativity, totem magick.
*4 hours activation time.
Dark Brown: Invoking the earth element, general material benefits.
*5 hours activation time.
~Light Brown: Material benefits for the home.
*5 hours activation time.
~Green: DO NOT USE WITH SPREADING DISEASES OR CONTAGION!. Physical healing, monetary success, abundance fertility and nature magick, growth, also the element earth.
*4 hours activation time.
~Avacado green: New beginnings.
*3 hours activation.
~Dark green: Regeneration, agriculture.
*5 hours activation time.
~Mint Green: Financial gains used with gold and silver. Springtime.
*2 and a half hour activation time.
~Gray: Nuetrality, fey magick when used with lavender candles, gamouries.
*a half to 1 hour activation time.
~Orange: Attraction, career goals, prosperity to find a home, deals, ambition, general success, legal matters, gentle vitality.
*2 hours activation time.
~Pink: Romantic love, self love, planetary good will, healing of emotion, affection, caring and nurturing.
*1 hour activation time.
~pale pink: Friendships…young females.
* a half a hour activation time.
~Purple: Influence, royalty, thrid-eye, psychism, master healing, power, hidden knowledge and spirit ancestors.
*1 hour activation time.
~Lavender Purple: fey magick combined with gray.
*half a hour activation time.
~Yellow: The sun, air element, intelligence, accelerated learning, memory, selling house, logical imagination, breaking mental blocks and gentle action.
*3 hours activation time.
~White: Spirituality, peace, higher-self, purity, substitute for any color.
* 0 activation time NOTE however if substituting for a color keep in mind that colors activation time.
~Off white and Lily white: peace of mind and mother candles
*0 activation time.

*Non-Primary Candle Colors

~Lime: Success, communications with fey.
*3 and a half hours activation time.
~Magenta: fast positive action, changing luck.
*1 hour activation time.
~Mauve: Harmony and friendship in the home.
*1 hour activation time.
~Peach: gentle strength, unity, inspiration, friendships, calming and joy, immediate peace.
*half a hour to 1 hour activation time.
~Turquoise: Awareness, meditation, and creativity, also fixes most migraines.
*1 and a half hour activation time.

Metallic Candle Colors
~Gold: The God, wealth, Sekhmet, Ra, Isis, the sun, promotes alchemical manifestation, projective, happiness, and attraction.
*1 hour activation.
~Silver: The Goddess, psychism, dreams, female power, communication, the moon.
*3 hours activation time.
~Copper: Passion, venus, power, love, growth and career manuevers.
*4 hours activation.

Astral Candle Colors

*The candle colors in ( ) are the origional colors coined by Herni Gamache in 1940. The first color is the primary or top color.

~Aries/March 21st-April 19th: Red, white, &yellow (white & pink).
~Taurus/April 20th-May 20th: Green, brown, pink, red-orange. (Light Blue/Red)
~Gemini/May 21st-June 21st: Yellow, blue, light blue, (Light blue/red).
~ Cancer/June 22nd-July 22nd: White, silver, Light blue, orange-yellow, (Green/Brown)
~Leo/July 23rd-August 22nd: Gold, yellow, red (Green/red).
~Virgo/August 23rd-September 22nd: Yellow, green, orange, pale green, yellow0green, (Gold/black).
~Libra/September 23rd-October 22nd: Rose, blue, light Blue, white, (Black/light Blue).
~Scorpio/October 23rd-November 21st: red, black, dark blue, blue-green, (Golden-brown/black)
~Sagittarius/November 22nd-December 21st: Purple, indigo, turquoise, (Green/red).
~Capricorn/December 22nd-January 19th: Black, brown, dark green, blue-violet, (Red/brown, gray or black)
~Aquarius/january 20th-February 18th: Blue, green, metallic blue, white, purple, (Blue/pink or dark green).
~Pisces/February 19th-march 20th: Foam green, blue green, salmon pink, red violet, (Pink/green, white or black).

Flipping Candles

~To reverse very negative issues.
1. Purify and consecrate the candle.
2. Flip the candle upside down and dig th ewick out of the bottom.
3. Charge but do not anoint, then proceed with the spell.

Loading Candles

~For extra power. Works best with Pillars and jar candles.
1. Purify an dconsecrate as normal.
2. Heat the end of a carving tool, I like to use embroidery needles…just please BE CAREFUL they get really hot, use the heated end to make a hole in your chosen candle in either the top or bottom.
3. You can now stuff the hole with hearbs…tiny stone chips etc.
4. Anoint and charge as usual.

Extinguishing Candles

*Using a snuffer or pinching it out with wet fingers while saying:
“Though your flame is quenched in the physical realm…you still burn brightly in the astral realm, I say so be it and so it continues to be”
~Scott Cunningham~

Candle Purifications and Consecrations
* The information below is a mix from Gerina Dunwich’s Wicca candle Magick and The Enchanted Candle Crafting and casting magickal Light by Lady Rhea with Eve LeFay.

1.place all candles in their holders and place on your pentacle …if you do not have one then in your working space, I personally do this in a cast circle, also great to do during Imbolc. Make a sign of a banishing pentagram over th ecandles and say 3 times:

“I call upon the flame to summon Thee, O spirit of fire, I call upon the firedrakes, and the salamanders and all the positive creatures who dwell within the fiery realms, to draw you into this circle…Hear me, o Spirit!, hear me and rise…rise from the flickering flame(s) and exorcise this(these) creature(s) of wax and wick (wax glass/metal and wick).
Let any and all negativity contained within it(them) be now drivin out forthwith.
Let this (these) creature(s) of wax and wick (wax, glass/metal and wick) be cleansed, sanctified and blessed for my intended purpose(s)of magick.
In the names of every God and Goddess to whom the flame is sacred, I know consecrate this(these)candle(s) as a tool (as tools) of magick!”

2. on the third incantation make the sign over the candle(s) with your fingers or athame of the egual armed cross and say:

“So mote it be.”